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Toby: We're flying in a Lockheed Eagle Series L-1011. Leo: [on the phone with the New York Times] 17 across. As we speak, the Coast Guard is fishing Cubans out of the Atlantic Ocean while the Governor of Florida wants to blockade the Port of Miami. And somewhere between movie stars and makeup tips, she talked about her feelings on a woman’s right to choose. It means one thing follows the other, therefore it was caused by the other. So, my friend, if you want to start using American military strength as the arm of the Lord, you can do that. And that all the residents should evacuate their homes. Joey (Kenny): There are people you haven't persuaded yet. Otherwise, you're like the French radical watching the crowd run by and saying, "There go my people. If you studiously say nothing, nothing that causes you trouble, nothing that's a gaff. They're all so poor, and many of 'em talk funny, and don't have proper table manners... J.: I changed my clothes because I didn't think it was appropriate to talk about two dead teenagers while wearing a ball gown and you know that because you're stupid but you're not stupid, you know what I'm saying? He cannot possibly have been properly prepared by counsel for these questions, nor should he ever have to answer them publicly. Well, I'll just call the President and suggest to him that he allow a huge bipartisan vote on the floor of the U. House of Representatives calling him a liar and that he welcome the result. An issue where the feministas and the White House disagree. I may not have had sinister intent at the outset but there were plenty of opportunities for me to make it right. So we come to occupy a moral safe house where everyone's to blame so no one's guilty. So instead of retiring as superintendent of the Ohio Valley Union Free School District, he retired head of the math department at William Henry Harrison Junior High. I can't remember what we were selling, but you worked off a script. Toby: There's always been a concern about the two Bartlets. How about two weeks ago, in the State of the Union, when the President praised the Islamic people as “faithful” and “hard-working” only to be denounced in the Arab press as knowing nothing about Islam, but none of that is the point… If their religion forbids them from playing the trumpet, so be it. [long pause]Ainsley: He would be able to, but that isn't the point. [To Celia] And, you, stop trying to take the fun out of my day. Bartlet: Let me tell you, you're really showing me something tonight. Professor Milgate: That’s because great achievement has no road map. I mean, when the electron was discovered in 1897, it was useless. Bartlet: Shaken, not stirred will get you cold water with a dash of gin and dry vermouth. And you're telling me I can still flummox this thing with something I bought at Radio Shack? A perception that's not likely to be altered by the video footage of the President riding his bicycle into a tree. It seems my granddaughter, Annie, had given an interview in one of the teen magazines. As if drug kingpins didn't live their day to day lives under the possibility of execution, and their executions are a lot less dainty than ours and tend to take place without the bother and expense of due process. He heard a radio report that the river was going to rush up and flood the town. And she knows it's beginning to show and she needs to cover herself with misdirection. You can win, if you run a smart disciplined campaign. Lots of times we don't know what right or wrong is but lots of times we do and come on, this is one. And so I announce to you tonight that I will bring the full resources of the Federal Government and the full reach of my office to this fundamental goal: We will cure cancer by the end of this decade. And any time there was opportunity for career advancement, it took him an extra five years because invariably there was a less qualified black woman in the picture. My name is..." And "Toby Ziegler" was okay for New York, but once I got into the other time zones, I needed a name that wasn't gonna bother anybody. How about when we sent American soldiers to protect Saudi Arabia and the Arab World told us we were desecrating their Holy Land while ignoring the fact that we were invited? Be exposed to social sciences, history, some literature. Bartlet: Well, I guess we talked about a lot of things: who we think the Republican challenger is gonna be, and incumbency, and campaign strategy - strategic overview, but the long and short of it is, my father never liked me, at all. There's a little thing called heart and you've got it, my friend. Neither were discovered with a practical objective in mind. If we stumble into truth, we got lucky, and I don't get to decide what truth is.

Leo: I am making a mental list of those who are snickering, and even as I speak I am preparing appropriate retribution. And it was there for any and all who might be hungry. It is in the spirit of Andrew Jackson that I, from time to time, ask senior staff to have face-to-face meetings with those people representing organizations who have a difficult time getting our attention. staffer gave me a card with instructions on it for what I'm supposed to do in the event of a nuclear attack. You go out to a bar or a party in some club and you get up to go to the restroom. Bartlet: Toby, I'm drinking the most fantastic thing I've ever tasted in my life: chocolate syrup, whole milk, and seltzer.

Margaret: [to the Surgeon General] Red meat has been found to cause cancer in white rats. We'll make enemies, we'll break laws, we'll break bones, but you will not mess with the grandchildren. J.: Yes, Hoynes had us nervous with his admonishment of big oil and, yes, the president was making us nervous too. Tonight, I've seen a man with no legs stay standing, Dad, and a guy with no voice keep shouting. Things are a lot less comic for women, who aren't allowed to attend school or have jobs. Killing yourself and innocent people to make a point is sick, twisted, brutal, dumb-ass murder. but that, my friends, is not worthy of you; it's not worthy of a President; it's not worthy of a great nation; it's not worthy of America.' Paper's for wimps. And instead of saying 'Well, excuse me, you right-wing, reactionary, xenophobic, homophobic, anti-education, anti-choice, pro-gun, Leave it to Beaver trip back to the fifties,' we cowered in the corner. 'Cause now the pole is causing more drag than the kelp was. When it costs us nothing, when we give up nothing?! Leo: The President was at the debate site, walking the stage. He makes it his own like it's an extension of his body. I don't understand people who say they've had enough. They beheaded a hundred and twenty-one people last year for robbery, rape, and drug trafficking.

Maraschino cherries have been found to cause cancer in white rats. Sam: It was high treason, and it mattered a great deal! And if politics brings out the worst in people, maybe people bring out the best. They're not allowed to be unaccompanied, and oftentimes get publicly stoned to death for crimes like not wearing a veil. And let me leave you with this thought before I go searching for the apples that were rightfully mine: we don't need martyrs right now. A hero would die for his country but he'd much rather live for it. Worry about what you'll tell your parents when you break curfew. See, what you gotta do is you gotta drop it in and let the water lift it out in a windmill motion. You ever see a pitcher work the mound so the dirt does exactly what his feet want it to do? He sees it as a genuine opportunity to change minds – also his best way of contributing to the team. They have no free press, no elected government, no political parties. Why must every American President bound out of an automobile like as at a yacht club, while in com... There are going to be people who aren't going to the bunker, and when I get out I'm not going to be able to tell them what to do anymore and I like doing that.

You know, my wife, Abbey, she never wants me to do anything while I’m upset. [Leo and Sam appear in the doorway and quietly enter into the room.] Except I forgot to open the garage door. First of all, he didn't know she was a call girl when he slept with her. He didn't participate in, have knowledge of, or witness anything illegal. Sam: [reading a newspaper article, quoting a congressman] "Folks down here are patriotic, fiercely patriotic. Where was the retribution for the families, and where is the warning to the rest of the world that Americans shall walk this Earth unharmed, lest the clenched fist of the most mighty military force in the history of mankind comes crashing down on your house?! It's how you behave if you're the most powerful nation in the world. Listen, Leo Mc Garry filled me in on the situation with your mother. I hope you don't mind, but I took the liberty of calling Tom Connolly, the FBI Director, and we had the computer spit out some quick information. And I think it's high time we come back and say thanks. And when the watermelon's done, right in town square, right in the band gazebo... And they brought the boyfriends out, and they fought, right there on television. But we're here now, tomorrow night we do an immense thing; we have to say what we feel, that government, no matter what its failures in the past and in times to come for that matter, government can be a place where people come together and where no one gets left behind. Society has a right to protect itself, but it doesn't have a right to be vengeful. Let me take you to safety." But the man shouted back, "I’m religious. And a guy with a megaphone shouted, "Hey you, you down there. Let me drop this ladder and I’ll take you to safety." But the man shouted back that he was religious, that he prayed, that God loved him and that God will take him to safety. and certainly a credible one from a man who's fought in a war. I don’t think the framers were thinking of three guys in a Dodge Durango. But I know that if you combine all the populations of Great Britain, France, Germany, Japan, Switzerland, Sweden, Denmark, and Australia you’ll get a population roughly the size of the United States. Do you think it’s because Americans are more homicidal by nature or do you think it’s because those guys have gun control laws? They lie when 72 percent of Americans say they're tired of a sex scandal, while all the while, newspaper circulation goes through the roof for anyone featuring the story. I think giving people a vision of government that's more than Social Security checks and debt reduction is good. Sam: [reading an excerpt rejected from the State of the Union speech] Over the past half century, we've split the atom, we've spliced the gene and we've roamed Tranquility Base. If they discover you've been there I'm going to shove a motherboard so far up your ass - What?

Twenty-eight years ago, I come home from a very bad day at the State House. I get in the station wagon and put it in reverse, and pull out of the garage full speed. Where was Morris's protection, or anybody else on that airplane? [sitting down] Oh, man, Leo..I think of all the work you put in to get me to run, when I think of all the work you did to get me elected... [Leo and Bartlet laugh]Bartlet: But you prefer Charlie, right? See, you won with fifty-two percent, but the President took your district with fifty-nine. Right in the band gazebo, that's where the President is going to drape his arm around the shoulder of some assistant DA we like. Bartlet: I was watching a television program before, with a kind of roving moderator who spoke to a seated panel of young women who were having some sort of problem with their boyfriends - apparently, because the boyfriends had all slept with the girlfriends' mothers. [pause] We're running away from ourselves and I know we can score points that way, I was a principal architect of that campaign strategy right along with you, Josh. For all I know, that thinking reflected the best wisdom of its time, but it's just plain wrong by any modern standard. God will save me."A helicopter was hovering overhead. " The priest writes out a prayer, throws it down in the hole and moves on. Lord John Marbury: Well that's the right sentiment... We build a shield and somebody will build a better missile. It says "a well regulated militia being necessary for the security of a free state, the government shall not infringe." The words "well regulated" and "militia" are in the first sentence. They're going to check it every night before they go home.

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